Meir Ezra: How to Get People to Trust You
If people cannot trust you, you will not succeed. You need people to believe you, have confidence in you, depend on you.
Losing trust is easy. You forget a promise you made. You fail to do what you said you would do.
When business owners, executives and managers cannot be trusted, no one will buy from them or work for them. Bankruptcies, lawsuits and government investigations start with broken agreements.
Governments also run into trouble when they break their word. When its citizens or other countries expect one thing and get another, they demand new leadership.
Trust is essential to marriages. In fact, you could say most divorces stem from broken agreements. "She agreed to not have an affair!" "He was going to treat me well!" "I thought I was going to be getting a husband/wife who ________."
"One's regard for another is based, in no small degree, on whether or not the person keeps his or her word. Even parents, for instance, would be surprised at the extent they drop in the opinion of their children when a promise is not kept."
"People who keep their word are trusted and admired. People who do not are regarded like garbage. Those who break their word often never get another chance."
"One should never permit another to give his or her word lightly. And one should insist that when a promise is made, it must be kept."
"Keep your word once given." - L. Ron Hubbard
from The Way to Happiness
Three Recommendations
- Make firm promises.
When you know you can do something or provide a specific result, don't hesitate to say so. Look people in the eye and tell them the truth. "I will complete that project by Friday, without fail." "If the car won't start, call us and we'll send a tow truck within an hour." "You can deposit the check today."
- Keep your small promises.
Many people see nothing wrong with breaking small promises. For example, you say, "I'll call you Tuesday" but then you don't call until Thursday. You say, "I won't tell anyone about your wife's drinking problem," but then you tell a few people anyway. You say, "I'll pay you back tomorrow," but then completely forget. Meir Ezra
If you don't take small promises seriously, you damage your reputation. You appear disorganized or irresponsible. You make the other person feel unimportant which makes him or her treat you the same way.
When people see that you keep your word on small things, they are more likely to believe you can keep your word on big things.
People will say things like, "Thanks for remembering to send me the file this morning." "You're the only one who paid me for yesterday's lunch." "You stopped by on Saturday, just as you said you would. Thank you."
- When keeping your word is difficult, do it anyway.
If you can't hold up your end, don't rationalize or make excuses. "He won't care that my payment is late." "She knows I USUALLY arrive on time." "They don't treat me with respect, so I don't need to honor their contract."
Instead, make it go right. "Even though my car had to go to the shop, and even though someone bounced a check on me, here is your payment, as promised, on time." Even better, simply say, "Here's your payment."
Stay up late, break a sweat, push yourself, find solutions, work harder, persist, push, demand, get your hands dirty and make it go right despite EVERYTHING.
